Oh that Dave...

"The future is no place to place your better days."

Perugia: After

(1/11/09)

From that evening:

Ok, LOVE Perugia. It is so much what I think of as typically Italian. My heart absolutely melted in this place. Traveling in Italy does something to me mentally, emotionally, spiritually that I cannot even come close to putting into words. I feel more like me exploring these ancient alleys in new cities than I do almost anywhere else. (Psychology/therapy/counseling settings are one of the places that will always trump...obvs.) I had the same feelings in Venice. I want to melt into the surroundings and just be. Yes that sounds bizarre I know.

I got off of the train with a little pep in my step. "God I love exploring new places." Breezed out of the train station and was immediately lost. I could not find a map beforehand- well, I didn't look very hard. I figured I would wing it...except that the outside of the station is super sketch and THERE ARE NO MAPS TO BE FOUND. I finally decided to look at the bus list and go where the majority of the buses were ending up. I assumed this would be the center. And I was correct -winner winner.

The bus meandered back and forth up the gorgeous mountain road. The leaves were perfectly golden. Love. For the rest of the day I wandered around the many piazzas at the top. The town is built up the side of a mountain with most of the life surrounded by a perimeter of breathtaking views. They are absolutely beyond description. There was some kind cultural festival going on. White tents filled the walking spaces, each offering some kind of dessert/pastry selection from whatever country they were representing. I decided that it would be terrible of me to not experience these different ways of life as much as possible, after all, isn't that what travelling is all about? (This is how I justified only eating desserts the entire day. Swear to god. No breakfast, lunch or dinner- just sweets. And yes I regretted this later.) Random explorings filled in the remainder of my day. Gorgeous churches, marching jazz bands, little hidden shops, random magicians (wtf?), moments of reading in the sunshine on the steps of another ornate building, amateur art exhibits, italian chatter, people watching during mass, seeing the sunset into the countryside and so on and so on....these days are beautiful and they are mine.

(PS- I'm writing this while listening to Dave Matthews which is quite the feat. His lyrics and perspectives send my brain in a philosophical whirlwind. Yes, some of his music is fun but listen closely, there's so much more there. It has taken me three times as long to write than it normally would. However, when you live in, ahem...Italy and it's 65 degrees and a perfect breeze is swirling and you can't help but smile and be and enjoy life, you DONT turn Dave off.)

Perugia: Before

(1/11/09)

From that morning:

I hit my alarm for 50 minutes this morning. I knew that I would which is why I set the first one so early. In the mornings I never want to get up but I'll get to this moment where I'm suddenly very awake and aware of the fact that I have to get up now. The thing is, I don't know when it comes so I have to give myself ample snooze room.

When I finally drug my hungover ass out of bed it was 6:47.

"My train leaves in an hour and 8 minutes. Fuck!"

I then proceed to look up the weather, do my hair, get ready, pack my purse for the day, take the metro to Termini, but a one way ticket to Perugia and hop on a train. I decided to worry about my return ticket when I got there. I'm not sure how late I want to stay because I don't know how much I will like "the sexiest city in the world." (I mean, I know I'll like it but will I love it so much that I want every last minute I can get or will until sundown suffice?) Also I just like the thought of buying one way tickets. It makes me feel a little cavalier to catch the train with no guaranteed return in hand...even though I'm only going 2 and 1/2 hours away.

So here I sit zipping through the Tuscan countryside...and this is all before most of you (Italy included) got out of bed this morning. What's up jump start? This train is cleaner and much roomier than the others I've taken I assume it's because it's only a day train. Nonetheless, I like them all. Catching the train is my favorite.

I cannot imagine how I'll ever leave this.

Random thoughts at Vittorio Emanuele

From 30/10/09

Found the Chinese district today-THAT was entertaining. Yes Roma has a Chinatown. I was just a surprised as you are. I think it's hilarious that the windows on the ground floors of these gorgeous Italian style buildings are covered in Chinese script. The air actually smells faintly of Chinese food. I realized that while sitting in a large open park. It's made me hungry. The stores in this area all look the same and I don't want to shop in any of them. They all look like the cheap nasty stores at the cheap nasty malls in little cheap nasty towns. Everything is white with florescent lighting. The signs are hand written. The products are shit and are being sold next door as well. I don't get it. Moving on.

The air is cool but the sun feels warm. I chose a bench in the sunlight because I refused to wear my boots today. Flipflops were calling my name seeing as how I will be retiring them soon. I'm a little chilly when a cloud passes but that's about it. I'm sticking by my choice.

I also purposefully chose a bench that was broken on one side when I took my place. I don't want anyone sitting next to me - and they will; they always do. Apparently the sleazy Italian men have a radar to track down girls who are alone. They then make it their life goal to...well, I don't know what their goal is but I'm not sticking around to find out. They annoy the hell out of me. I'm at the point that I might punch the next guy that leans in my personal space and delivers some cheap italian line that I don't actually understand but can figure out the gist of by his tone and facial expression. I wear sunglasses alot; that seems to make it better. I mean, don't get me wrong, what girl doesn't like a compliment? It's just different. It's not sweet or genuine or respectful. It's sleazy and the constant presence of it leaves a sense of violation. I don't know, maybe there are girls who enjoy it. (None that I know.) If I was here for something that involved their help then I would probably tolerate it more but honestly I'm here for so many other reasons and, for one of the first times in my life, genuinely just want to be left the hell alone.

It just takes a little planning ahead...today I am safe behind my book and sunglasses on my broken bench. Oh! And I recently learned that Italians thinks that Americans are the easiest girls to get into bed.

Not this time...move along creeper!

Via Merulana

Ok...so I'm a little behind in my posting. I keep this wonderful journal with me that I write in when I'm out but then I don't remember to type them into blog form. (Sidenote: I have formed a crippling addiction to Moleskine, starting with my city guide. It has only progressed from there. I swear by them and always always have at least one in my possession at all times. No even joking.) There have been a lot of fun little happenings from the past month but I'm afraid that if I try to work on those now, I'll just stay behind. Solution-if I think of some things later I'll add them in, but otherwise we'll just keep chugging along with what I have as of late.

From Oct 29th:

Went to my favorite street in Rome today. It's near where I live which is convenient. It's my favorite (so far) because of how beautiful it is. There are no decent shops along this street. I think it's because they know business would be terrible since no one in their right mind would leave to walk inside. Standing at the beginning, Via Merulana stretches out in a careful downhill slope before arching back up. I like the end of the first half and when the road starts creeping uphill the best. The entire walk is lined with trees. They have white trunks and branches. Always a favorite of mine. Green foliage is left where the arms meet each others. The tips are bare. I love this because it means you see more of the white. There are several churches. One has a large concrete staircase leading to its second story entrance. Another always has a small gathering of nuns in the front courtyard. The architecture and colors of the buildings are a beautiful sampling of classic Italy. They are lovely and grand and old. They are also mixed in with a couple of old ruins. It's Rome, what did you expect? All in all, it's a perfect mixture. The little details, like the smattering of graffiti on the street levels of the ruins and the small gardens spilling over from the windows on the higher floors and the same gypsies that prostrate themselves in front of you as you walk by, just push this street over the top.

Merulana is also dotted with several outdoor coffee shops. I make it a point to never go to the same one twice...until they run out, that is.

I finally pick out a cafe. They have red, green, and yellow thick table clothes covering the seating outside. I choose a green one because it's in the sun and green is my favorite. The warmth of the cappuccino combined with the sunshine wraps me up better than any blanket. It's perfect. I pull out my book and take a minute to enjoy the moment. I know I'll be here for a while today because I love it and I can. I also love the book I'm reading right now: The Last Lecture. Most people have heard of it or watched the lecture. It's one of those books you know you'll read more than once.

I had the strangest dream last night. It started after I got the girls up. It was the kind of dream that keeps going even though you wake up over and over. I dreamed that I had gone home for Christmas. One of my friends, I don't remember who, had done something, I have no idea what, and we were arrested. When we were finally able to sneak out a few days later I checked my emails from British Airways. I had missed my flight back to Italy. I tried everything but couldn't get a flight. I just kept thinking that I wouldn't get to finish what I needed to do here. I wouldn't get to learn everything I needed to learn.

I woke myself up crying. Seriously, bawling. I cannot explain my relief when I opened my eyes and I was in my room in Rome. I'm exactly where I want and need to be and I am so happy.

the basics, if you'll still have it...

Ok. I've been terrible. I know. I accept it and I'm sorry.

There are numerous excuses but none of them matter very much to you do they? We'll just skip that and move right on to the updates. My brain functions well in list form so I'm going for that route.

1. I LOVED Venice. It was amazing. I'll put up a post after this about that little delight of a trip. There's no way I could ever get tired of that place.

2. I've been sick this past week. It was so awful. I didn't go anywhere, hang out with anyone, or get anything done. Being unproductive in Roma is the worst. Found that out the hard way. The weather dropped quite quickly and I was not prepared. I'm half way through some antibiotics so the outlook is much better. The weather has also improved. It's back up in the 60's which is perfect fall weather, in my opinion. The air is crisp. Taking a deep breath is so invigorating.

3. I also had my first batch of homesickness. My family skyped me while they were carving pumpkins together (which by the way is more adorable that any normal person can stand.) It was a little downhill from there. It's funny how clearly you see the things that really matter in your life and the things that don't when you're so far away. I miss things I never thought I would miss. Chattanooga, for example, I miss with the same intensity that I miss some of the people in my life. I cannot look at pictures of that city without aching for it. Weird is what it is. I also miss the energy that evolves from the old friends I used to hang out with. I never realized how much I liked it and what a rarity that group really is/was.

4. Love this new family. They are amazing and so good to me. They have two teenage girls which is so perfect considering I hate children. I thought that would magically go away bc I was living in the glorious Eternal City. However, what I have learned is that I will eternally hate children. I hang out with the girls in the afternoon and basically just chat with them in english about anything and everything. I'm a hired big sister and I love it. The parents are so so kind to me. The father took me on a 2 hour tour of the area when I got here so I would know my way around. He also sends me links of places to order books in english. When the weather dropped to the 30's and 40's I was freezing. I didn't bring my coats with me bc I was planning on having them shipped when the weather started to decline. The mom gave me one of her super cute jackets to use (without my asking!) until my family brings mine over. They called an english speaking doctor in the family for me when I got sick to see what kind of medicine I needed. And these are just a few of the things they've done when they didn't have to. They are caring and wonderful. They are a little weirded out by the fact that I've constantly been eating peanut butter out of the jar and I staying up to watch football games that come on from 2:30am-5:30am. (One of the girls asks about how the sport is played and it brings delight to my soul to bestow such a beautiful blessing of knowledge upon her.) Other than such minor cultural confusions it is smooth sailing.

5. Working on my Italian. It's a slow and not so steady process. I'm using an online course after becoming an official language school dropout. (Every time I say this I always sing the 'beauty school dropout' from Grease in my head.) I like practicing and I progress fairly quickly bc of my Spanish base. It's just hard to be motivated sometimes because I'm pretty sure, after I move away, I will not use this language ever again.

6. The boys here...oh the boys. They are beautiful and they are all dogs. I'm going to stick to observing them at an emotional distance. That's what they seem best for. No bad stories (read: burns) here and I would like to keep it that way. They are fun. Every girl that I've talked to who has been involved with an Italian has subsequently sworn off Italians. I'll follow their advice this time. No need to learn the lesson on my own.

Well, maybe... ;)

7. One of my new favorite things about Italians is that they all have this incredible distrust of technology. To steal ReAnna's description...it is so endearing. When my mom sent me a package I tracked it online. I missed the first attempt at delivery bc no one was here. I know this because the website told me I did. When I told the family, the immediate response from the dad is that he does not believe a package can be tracked to the point of delivery...especially all the way from America. This was the only option in his mind. This man just finished his dissertation for his PhD. He is smart. It's cultural and it's hilarious. The lack of trust pops up daily and I smile.

That's all for now. I'll try to squeeze in a couple more posts this week to make up for my falling off of the face of the earth. There are lots of little adventures and thoughts and perspectives and reflections and observations to fill you in on but the general stuff is good for the first one back. (Again, I'm sorry.)

PS- The girls are watching an Italian musical movie at the moment. Fucking weird.

PPS- The girls use english cuss words and they don't understand that fuck is worse than the others. They use it casually. Girls after my own heart :)

Pictures Pictures Pictures

Pictures from Venice. Nothing fancy. Enjoy.

http://photobucket.com/juliebryan

Hold on...

I'm in Venice.

I'll post when I find a way to process it.

Happy.

Treno 706

Alright Daryn, this one is for you...

I finally moved out of the horrible house; a leave ReAnna deemed 'the great escape.' It could suit. I packed all of my things back into my suitcase over the weekend (I definitely didn't think I would be doing that two weeks after I got here.) I awoke Monday morning and caught the first bus out. I did not say goodbye which is terribly rude and quite out of character. I am a good southern girl at heart, you know; I was raised better. However because of the circumstances that led up to the move, my recent anxiety levels, and the family's addiction to emotionally heightened, stressful fits of drama and blatant, habitual disrespect I found it in MY best interest to leave without any sort of confrontation. It took me about an hour to get to my hotel where they let me check in early. What a god-send! I slept, ran some errands, bought my train ticket, enjoyed the scenery and then the day took a bad turn. It was time to move the suitcases again. This is no easy task. I'm moving three enormously heavy bags completely alone using Rome's public transportation.

So I drug my luggage down the sidewalk, across the cobble stoned streets and to the entrance of my new family's flat. When I rang the buzzer no one answered right away. While I was admiring the beautiful little courtyard in the middle of the building, Nadia, the mother arrived. She is kind and more posh than anything I've encountered in Italy so far. I rolled the luggage in the house, slightly concerned about scratching the gorgeous hard wood floors. There is so much attention to detail in this house. It's beautiful and you can tell Nadia takes pride in it (as well she should.)

The new flat I get to live in.

I left and meandered back down the street. I love being in the city center. There is so much more life. I feels like Rome. The sun had set and the sky was astounding as it always is in the evening. I was hungry since I had not eaten that day...well minus the Nutella, but I don't mention that for the same reason I don't mention every time I breathe. I wandered across a little pizzeria/restorante with, of course, alfresco seating. It is near a small wine and cheese shop. I sit and the waitress brings out a glass of sparkling white wine. I was never a wine person before I came to Italy. Now I go to the grocery store just to linger over the choices. I have yet to try a glass here I haven't liked. I was craving pizza so I use my broken Italian to order the Bufalina. I know that bufala mozzarella is very good so I figured I'd give the pizza version a shot. I scribble down the days happenings in my little journal so I don't forget them while I wait. After no more than 10 minutes god delivers a little piece of heaven right to my table. The pizza is beyond comparison to anything in America. Pizza here is thin, crispy, and savory. The Bufalina was a crunchy bread covered with regular mozzarella and no tomato sauce (that would be a pizza rosa and this was a pizza bianca.) There were white balls of the bufala cheese placed randomly between the halves of fresh sweet cherry tomatoes and whole leaves of some kind of herd. The edges were just blackened from being in the wood-stone oven. Now the size is something to mention (isn't it always ;)...sorry, that was dirty.) This pizza covered my dinner plate. It was easily the size of a 'medium' pizza at home, just to give you an idea. And since it's Italy you eat whatever part you want. There are no slices. Grab your fork and pick the bite that looks best. I'm not usually one for getting too into food, but this meal deserved to be talked about. After the meal I went back to my hotel, took off my skinny jeans and crawled into bed.

This morning I woke to the sound of the church bells at the San Giovanni in Laterano. The sun was creeping in between the shades. I threw on some clothes and headed up to breakfast. I had hot tea and a fresh croissant with, wait for it...nutella. The breakfast room was on piano 8. The floors here start on -2 (then -1, H, 0, 1, 2...etc) so this was actually the 12th, and top, floor. The view overlooked the city. There are many places to obtain the expansive views of Rome. This was one was perfect, standard. I enjoyed my pastry and sipped my tea while watching Rome spring to life. I love how Rome manages to be a modern as well as historic as well as beautiful city without compromising any of those facets. The flats surround the cathedral which can be reached by the ever infuriating public buses. It's a seamless mix, atleast in my opinion. Traffic seems to be a bother because of the way the roads snake around the history but that doesn't really affect me too much.

I went back to my room, not really wanting to leave my little table by the window. My body ached,(and aches) from moving my weight in luggage around Rome yesterday. The shower is large white painted tile and it is spacious. There is a little oblong window to open so you can shower and look at the city. However, this involves the city being able to see me enjoying the waterfall showerhead so I keep it only partly open. I wrapped up my newly tan and newly smaller self in the the plush white towel and turned on CNN. Two side notes: 1) there is lead in the sand here, which reflects the sun. This causes you to get incredibly tan every time you go to the beach. Italians aren't dark. I swear they are just really really tan. 2) Even though Italian food is very heavy I'm still losing weight here because of all of the walking. I could see how one could get really fat here, but honestly it's all about portion control. It doesn't matter if it's standard to eat three meals worth of food in one sitting, just stick to two. Kidding, mostly.

Now, I write this as I am speeding thru the Italian countryside on my way to Venice. It doesn't get much more cliche than this. It doesn't feel cliche though. Like I said before, if feels authentic. Too good and too real to be compared to the ideals of it. The train car is classic, romantic. There are so many things out of the window that are simply perfect: Cities built on hills that look like they could have all been a part of one massive, historic castle. They all have the same old rock foundation (get philosophical with that one ;) connecting them. Abandoned villas that look more beautiful in passing than I've ever seen captured on a canvas. A man riding along the fence on a horse that is a beautiful color of heather gray. The sunflowers that have given up their bloom and now seem to bow over their heads over acknowledging the majesty of the mountain chain rolling out before them. Ok, maybe that's a little much. But I like this reality.

Yes, Daryn, it's amazing. It's like a dream all of the time. Yes, Daryn it could be you too. No, there is no good reason it's not. (Kidding, mostly.) It's the new school year and families are looking for au pairs starting as early as in the next two weeks. Bristish Airways is having a sale on Atlanta to Rome - $600 round trip. Just sayin'.

(I promise I'll take you to the pizza place in Naples that she talks about in Eat Pray Love, I mean, you know, if we ever crossed paths over here :)

I promise to make you unforgettable if you promise not to make me fat

I wrote this the other night when I was riding the bus to the flat at around 1 am. I looked down at my phone and was taken back by the fact that it read "September 1" at the top. Scribbled down these thoughts before my stop:

Wow September, where did you come from?

It feels like yesterday I was refusing to walk at graduation for my bachelors, opting instead to jump out of an airplane.

The eight months behind you have held so much.

Within this year I have been on opposite sides of the world with two people very close to my heart. Now I LIVE in Rome. (That gets me every time)

There's alot to live up to September.

There have been so many happy memories in a wonderful city that was truly my home in more ways than I thought possible.

But there is so much that I hope you won't bring with you.

The lessons learned, bad and good, I hope will guide my steps a bit more

lightly in your four weeks. The ups and downs have been valleys apart. My heart has taken the brunt of my mistakes as well as the crowns of my

accomplishments. And now it is open for you.

I promise to stay close September.

I won't become a stranger like I have to some of the other months.

(Please send them my apologies - next time we see each other it will be different.)

As for now-I'll stay right here with you. I have no doubt you'll hold more.

Here's to always looking forward.

Only freaks ride the night bus

Sorry it's been a while since I've had a chance to catch you up. Things have been insanely busy over here. Here's what I've got in the update department:

This family is awful. They were not truthful about so so much. The first week with them was horrendous. I won't go into all of it, mainly because I don't want to think about it and it's not really fair for me to. I am currently looking for another family. There are a few prospects in the works. I am so so disappointed in the situation because I thought it was going to be great. The mother represented herself and her family as something they are very much not.

I needed to get out of the house this weekend so I stayed in a wonderful little hotel. It was perfect. So posh. Very different than the American concept of a hotel. I spent the day exploring around- well for the most part. I've found that my new favorite accidental hobby is to ride the wrong bus the wrong way until I have no idea where I am. Maps here do not provide the help that they do at home. The author of Eat Pray Love referred to Rome's streets as rives that meander around, which I believe is pretty dead on. It's lovely but makes finding my way impossible. I was directionally challenged at home...in a car...with a GPS. Here I mostly just enjoy what I'm seeing at that moment and hope that I make it back somewhere alive before midnight.

Anyways, back to the weekend. I ate at a lovely Italian restaurant all by myself- al fresco on a clear night. The pasta was amazing. Music in the background. Italian chatter. Perfect. It filled my soul (and my tummy!) The hotel had one English channel. It was CNN. I flipped shit to say the least. Saturday night after a wonderful day of exploring in Rome, a perfect Italian meal, and a late night of writing on the terrace overlooking part of the city, I fell asleep with CNN playing in the background. There are no words.

I'll leave you with a little list of random observances I've had so far:

-On the bus, the men do not give up their seats to little old ladies. In fact, they race them.

-If you tell someone you do not speak Italian they do not care. They will continue to speak to you in Italian like what you just said was nonsense.

-The police men are ugly. The army guys are hot!

-People play music on their cell phones out loud, with no head phones, on the bus like everyone else wants to hear.

-The amount of McDonalds here is out of control.

664 to M-A to M-B

I am very very tired tonight so this update is coming to you in list form. Enjoy.

1. I was molested in the park today by a senile old italian woman. I was sitting on a bench while the little one played. She came up and started rambling on in Italian which I tried to explain to her I did not understand. She then started pulling at my shorts and stuck her hand up the OUTSIDE of my leg. I swatted and shooed her away, but before she left she grabbed my face with both of her hands, smiled and said "bella, bella." Oh, and then she look my purse and covered my legs with it. Apparently she did all of this because she thought my shorts were too short. I assure you they are not, by American or Italian standards. I asked Isabella (the mom) about this. She told me know the lady is a little crazy plus old fashioned...and that my shorts were definitely not too short.

2. Children need to mind. "I don't want to" is never an appropriate response when you are a child! It does not matter what a kid wants or doesn't want. It's a kid; it's supposed to do what it's told. My response is and always will be "I don't care." Might need to think about a reward/warning system with the little one...for my sanity.

3. I like that people in Rome still wear Eastpak and Adidas like it didn't go out of style 10 years ago....because, well, it didn't here. It makes me smile.

4. Smells. There are so many smells here. I love the smell of the house. I do not like the smell of the dad's cologne. (I suspect he bathes in it.) I like the smell of Metro line A. It is new and clean. I do NOT like the smell of Metro line B. It runs old trains and does not have AC. It is also scary as fuck. Old men here smell like alcohol all the time.

5. I do not get grumpy when I'm hot anymore. This is probably because I've been hot nonstop since I walked off the plane. When central heat and air hit this country it will be perfect. Until then I'll just work on changing my preference (read: controlling extreme mood swings when encountering warm temperatures)

6. I hear my voice again. I don't know at what point in the past few months I lost it but I stopped hearing my answers in my head. I didn't have that reassuring voice for a while that reminds you who you are and what's good. It got muffled behind so many other things. But it's back like a dear old friend that you never wanted to say goodbye to. I feel back in touch with myself. Not that I lost me; I just felt that I lost my clarity after allowing myself to stay in a very disconcerting place. It is more comfort than I remembered.

7. I went to the Colosseum this evening. It was perfect. I waited for the sun to set so I could see it lit up. So beautiful. I stood there feeling like I was exactly where I belonged at that moment. That's a nice feeling. I went to take a picture of the Colosseum, some other really pretty ruins beside it, and the moon, but my camera died as soon as I held it up. It was so so perfect but I guess that one was just for me.

Tired. The days are so full here. Goodnight.

Won't you take me to...

Well...Rome is everything it's cracked up to be. I can't believe how every angle, every direction, every thing is so gorgeous. It's amazing. Stunning. Mesmerizing. I think I'll fall madly in love with this city. I can just feel it already. I can't wait to see who I'll become in this setting. It's time for some changes in my personal life. Those I won't go in to, but I assure you this is the perfect backdrop.

The children. They are cute. They talk alot...ALOT. I only know what they're saying to me about 60% of the time even though it's in English. They randomly talk about coke. It's in daily conversation for some reason. Apparently it's a big deal to them. They don't listen very well which annoys me but they're children and I've given up on the hope that any child will ever be well behaved (unless I raise it...haha).

Random- There are NO Starbucks in Italy. I read a bit about it to figure out why and I am now pleased with that little fact. Here's what I found: In Italy they do not do variations of coffee and expresso; added flavors are ridiculous. Coffee is also considered a morning drink here. They do not drink it in the afternoon or evenings. Italians also would never think about taking their coffee to go. They sit and enjoy it. It is not served in plastic cups (like at starbucks) because they would never walk or drive while having their coffee. It is also a more private, intimate ritual between friends. It is not considered the social activity that Starbucks is in the states. Italian coffee is supposedly wonderful. I have yet to try it. Starbucks was also rumored to be an imitation of the coffee houses here, but with an American twist. Why would you want a duplicate when you're surrounded by the originals? All in all it does not fit the culture or way of life in the slightest. A starbucks here would bust quickly. Italians have already perfected expresso.

I'm going to need alot of alone time, I can tell. Children are not my forte and I need down time from it. I'm remembering why my family laughed when I said I would be looking after children. I miss Clint. He's a handful but atleast I love him. I'm rereading Eat Pray Love mainly because it was good for me the first time and I would like the insight again. I am sleepy and still working off some pretty intense jet-lag. Hopefully by the end of the week my rhythm will be in sync.

(I would like to note that as I write this 'Funkytown' is playing in the background from the father's office area.)

It's freezing in this airport!

Made it to London! Almost there.

You'll be happy to know that I did NOT cry on the plane. (I know, I surprised myself.) I'm sure my seat buddies appreciated my remembering to pack the big girl pants once we hit the runway. Nobody like a whiny baby at 35,000 feet. I'm a big fan of British Airways now. They give you this wonderful little pack of goodies that includes a BIG blanket, eye mask, toothbrush/toothpaste and socks(!). I was quite delighted with the last item. Flying internationally, they have by far been my favorite. Recommended.

I'm getting pretty excited, at least at the moment. This is subject to change within the next ten minutes. (Kidding...hopefully). I can't wait to see ROME! I miss that rush you get when your eyes are searching over a new place for the first time. You miss the little details because it all seems so grand. Monday will be the first chance I get to explore around by myself. AH! Now THAT excites me! I'm ready to meet the family. I want everything to work out beautifully. I'm also wanting to magically become a kid person within the next week. I'll let you know.

Mom and I went to Walmart (won't be seeing on of those for a while) before I left to gather some American things to take to the family. We picked up lots of different types of candy, some magazines, a GREAT youth illustrated encyclopedia of America, and a football. Speaking of football, how did I not know UGA was playing Florida on Halloween?! I might have rethought this trip had known that (kidding...hopefully.) Amanda Jones you better be at that game! I'm really concerned about how I'm going to get to see the games. Someone suggested that I find an American bar that shows it but I don't know if that even exists. I'm banking on Fox or another network streaming the games online. If not you guys might be seeing me sooner than you think.

My gate just opened so I have to head that way. I'm sure there will be several posts coming soon- lots of things to get out! Hope those of you at home are sleeping well!

dapprima

I leave for Rome in exactly 2 days, 19 hours and 10 minutes from when I started writing this. I'm sitting in Chattanooga, which is the perfect place to start writing for me. Tonight was beyond perfect. It was spent with two of the most amazing people in my life (I would even venture to say the world.) My heart is full. I have literally been on opposite sides of the world with each of these girls earlier this year and it all comes full circle back to this city.

Chattanooga holds much more meaning to me than I could ever put into words. It has been a home. It has been safety. It has been the perfect setting for this part of my life. It has loved me back. But this is not the time in my life for me to be settled and comfortable. It's the time to chase. Chase what other than the feeling?- I'm not sure yet. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. But I know what I'm doing is right.

It hurts to leave it. I don't like goodbyes.

My feelings for moving have been very mixed. I don't think about the magnitude of it very often because, well, it scares the fuck out of me. I decided it would be better to try to figure my way out than prepare to go in. (Really what kind of preparation is there when you have no capacity to process something entirely new?) I am excited. The traveller in me is frantic and ready. I am so wanting to start this next major chapter in my life. I am so anxious to see who I will become and the experiences that will play out. I am nervous but mostly excited.

The reasons for writing on this silly little thing are several. First, I want to keep the people in my life informed on what's going on with me. This is easier than trying to shoot out several emails every few days and keeping up with who knows what. Second I want to make myself write more. I don't discipline myself to do it everyday even though I strongly value the significance it has in my life. Finally it has always been difficult for me to be extremely open with a lot of people. I am a very private person other than to those I choose to be vulnerable with; even then the information discussed is intentionally selected. I want to share my story, without worries. So here's to it...

I'm sure there will be more soon. Forgive the sporadic, half developed, mini chats- It is 2:30am after all. I mostly needed to get a first post up. Stick around. I promise I'm much more coherent when I'm not sleep deprived :)