dapprima

I leave for Rome in exactly 2 days, 19 hours and 10 minutes from when I started writing this. I'm sitting in Chattanooga, which is the perfect place to start writing for me. Tonight was beyond perfect. It was spent with two of the most amazing people in my life (I would even venture to say the world.) My heart is full. I have literally been on opposite sides of the world with each of these girls earlier this year and it all comes full circle back to this city.

Chattanooga holds much more meaning to me than I could ever put into words. It has been a home. It has been safety. It has been the perfect setting for this part of my life. It has loved me back. But this is not the time in my life for me to be settled and comfortable. It's the time to chase. Chase what other than the feeling?- I'm not sure yet. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. But I know what I'm doing is right.

It hurts to leave it. I don't like goodbyes.

My feelings for moving have been very mixed. I don't think about the magnitude of it very often because, well, it scares the fuck out of me. I decided it would be better to try to figure my way out than prepare to go in. (Really what kind of preparation is there when you have no capacity to process something entirely new?) I am excited. The traveller in me is frantic and ready. I am so wanting to start this next major chapter in my life. I am so anxious to see who I will become and the experiences that will play out. I am nervous but mostly excited.

The reasons for writing on this silly little thing are several. First, I want to keep the people in my life informed on what's going on with me. This is easier than trying to shoot out several emails every few days and keeping up with who knows what. Second I want to make myself write more. I don't discipline myself to do it everyday even though I strongly value the significance it has in my life. Finally it has always been difficult for me to be extremely open with a lot of people. I am a very private person other than to those I choose to be vulnerable with; even then the information discussed is intentionally selected. I want to share my story, without worries. So here's to it...

I'm sure there will be more soon. Forgive the sporadic, half developed, mini chats- It is 2:30am after all. I mostly needed to get a first post up. Stick around. I promise I'm much more coherent when I'm not sleep deprived :)